Masters Of The Universe
No doubt about it: The Adventures Of He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe EPITOMIZED The 1980s, starting off as a popular line of toys and action figures who always came with their own cheap little comic book (usually detailing the backstory of both the action figure character and their connection to either He-Man or Skeletor on the planet Eternia) and a particular gimmick which they always used when going into battle. As the line grew we soon got the animated series where most if not all of the vast array of characters would play a role in the ongoing adventures and conflicts which not only saw He-Man (much like Superman) have his own secret identity / alter ego in Prince Adam, Heir Apparent Of The Eternian Royal Family (and whom nobody recognized as being He-Man despite looking exactly the same while making NO attempt to disguise himself in any way) but also included an evil third party group in Hordak and The Evil Horde who found themselves in conflict with both Skeletor and He-Man’s camps. All of this excessive overcreating of so many damn characters really just meant more action figures (along with mini sets of Castle Greyskull, Skeletor’s lair of Snake Mountain and much more) being put out into stores and selling like hotcakes although realistically the entire mythology had become so bloated that a literal live action effort would have to be forcibly scaled back just so it didn’t become the most expensive action / fantasy movie ever. But in 1987 they finally did just that although it was unfortunate that the movie rights were bought up by what amounted at the time to being a dying studio (Cannon) and the budget would turn out to be considerably less than what the average Star Wars / Indy Jones film cost at about that same time. Surprisingly, they also brought in a director (Gary Goddard) who had not before or since ever directed an actual movie with his credentials and qualifications being that he had designed several of the snazzy movie theme rides at both the Disney and Universal amusement parks (and his inexperience shows even while watching the finished product). Of course, the glut of known characters was also greatly scaled back leaving us with the essentials like He-Man, Skeletor, Sorceress, Teela, Evil-Lyn, Man At Arms and Beastman with weirdly enough a few “new” characters thrown in the mix just for shits and giggles. For He-Man, they got Dolph Lundgren (coming off hot after Rocky 4 had made him a household name and looking to start his own string of heroic action roles), a good enough choice with the proper look to him if not for his still thick Swedish accent, one which they had planned to dub in post production but due to the budget constraints they left as is. Lundgren would later talk about how embarrassed he was in playing “a toy” and reportedly when offered the opportunity to reprise the role in a sequel both during production and afterwards would repeatedly turn it down although in recent years Lundgren would change his tune and state that he would consider either reprising He-Man or just doing a cameo in a new film if one were made. On the other hand, when casting for the all important villain role of Skeletor (the top, number one bad guy in a franchise loaded with them), the filmmakers hit it out of the park by bringing in Frank Langella, a prestige name who not only would eagerly accept the role, but would later declare it to be the personal favorite in all of his entire distinguished career because his own son had been a HUGE fan of the whole He-Man franchise and was probably doing backflips upon finding out that his dad had been offered Skeletor which must have made it just that much more satisfying for Langella. Once he is covered with the Skeletor makeup and mask, the performance works as best as it possibly could, giving off the effect of being an incredibly monstrous character where just only occasionally we can possibly catch a glimpse of a facial tic or mannerism that reveals if but for a second the well known actor underneath even if Langella’s voice is in full effect here playing the evil sorcerer with just the slightest bit of wit and irony. So good is Langella here that we probably could have enjoyed him as Skeletor being the main star of this movie but alas, there were other ideas afoot here. The script smartly remembers that the whole entire He-Man persona was an offshoot of the entire sword and sorcery mini movie genre (which had started with Conan The Barbarian and continued with a slew of ripoffs) and many aspects of this film seem purposely designed as being a spoof of those movies, a vibe that is more of a relief rather than a burden up to and including the story dynamic of having these characters coming to our own planet Earth to continue (but not finish) their battle (an idea that was later used for Beastmaster 2 and even many years later the first Thor movie would make a nod to this). The downside was that bringing these characters to Earth (obviously a cost saving measure) is a gimmick that may have worked in a second or third movie, but here there is no origin or backstory as we are just dropped directly into the conflict at hand with the longstanding history, hatred and rivalry between He-Man and Skeletor treated as already being a given (as it is no doubt to fans of the cartoon show) with Skeletor having captured The Sorceress (Christina Pickles) and slowly draining her power while conquering most of the rest of Eternia using a magical key invented by a lowly locksmith / wizard (Billy Barty in a role that was obviously intended to be Orko from the original show but here has had his name changed to Gwildor) even as his greatest goal remains to kill and / or humble He-Man whom it appears is not only the champion of the planet but is also looked upon by the people as their hero and last bastion of hope whose ultimate defeat will finally at last turn them to Skeletor’s side (keeping in mind that the so called Prince Adam secret identity is definitely NOT in play here). By hook or by crook, the heroes grab the key and open a quick escape port which takes them to Earth where they are pursued by Evil-Lyn (Meg Foster, a GREAT casting choice with her eerie blue eyes), Beastman and a slew of other mercenaries / robot henchmen running amok in our world. Of course, they immediately lose the key which is then recovered by two teenagers (Courteney Cox in her first movie role after Dancing In The Dark with Bruce Springsteen and future Star Trek Voyager regular Robert Duncan McNeill) who now find themselves in danger and must help out He-Man, Teela (Chelsea Field) and Man At Arms (Jon Cypher) in getting it back to Eternia in order to save The Sorceress. Eventually Skeletor comes to Earth also, making a grand entrance on his floating throne while conducting a literal parade down some deserted suburban street. Much of this is all in good, (intentionally) corny fun with the occasional bright idea coming through such as having the magical key use musical notes to open its time portals while having it explained by Barty that the reason for this is because music is the language of all the universe which works out well because Cox’s boyfriend happens to be a musician / keyboardist himself. Unfortunately, the movie stumbles quite a bit in what is perhaps its biggest comic relief gambit, that of having James Tolkan (Strickland from Back To The Future) as a reactionary cop who stumbles into the proceedings, ultimately coming across as not only being a complete annoyance, but also such a stumbling block obstacle to the entire mission (due to his own idiotic nature) that one almost halfway hopes that He-Man will stick him with his Sword Of Greyskull and just put him out of the movie completely (not likely since licensing toy company Mattel stipulated that He-Man not be shown killing anybody except for Skeletor’s automated robot troops). However, the chuckles keep coming even as the overall mythos (due to outdated and badly done special effects) never comes across as well as it really could (maybe a full blown CGI filled reboot would actually make some sense), but at least with Langella in the driver’s seat here (even as he plays the bad guy although he actually wrote some of his own lines!) truly relishing every moment of playing this cartoon / action figure based character, we know that we’ll at least be entertained every second that he is onscreen…
7/10