Plan 9 From Outer Space
Bad movies can best be described as an acquired taste, productions that are so awful in nearly every aspect (acting, writing, directing, etc.) that they achieve a kind of beyond enjoyable, surrealistic effect. While the history of cinema is filled with horrible movies in all genres (most of which are just NOT fun to watch), it is commonly agreed that the Citizen Kane of these movies is this 1959 effort from the notorious Ed Wood, a filmmaker so insanely bad he even got a Tim Burton biopic made of his life (in which the making of this film was covered extensively). The badness of this film extends from nearly every pore, from the opening intro by the famed yet phony TV psychic Criswell (who nonetheless predicted John F. Kennedy’s assassination with stunning accuracy six months before it happened), to the stock footage Wood had shot with legendary horror star Bela Lugosi days before his death which he had written the whole script around afterwards (and used a stand-in who was a foot taller and kept his face covered), to the ludicrous sci-fi / horror hybrid plot, in which aliens from outer space, frustrated that those in power on Earth have refused to so much as acknowledge their existence, have now commenced with “Plan 9”, which is to use some kind of superior technology to reanimate the dead and have them walk the Earth so that this army of zombies may march on Earth’s major cities and THEN the aliens would be properly acknowledged. What we get out of this is former pro wrestler Tor Johnson (fumbling through his lines as a police inspector before he is killed) and cult LA TV horror host Vampira (a.k.a. The Original Elvira) lurching and stumbling this way and that on what has to be the saddest little graveyard set ever. The real indignities however, are suffered by the actors playing the humans here, having to recite Wood’s dialogue from the screenplay with a straight face (the highlight being “But the cemetary is out there. The saucers are up there. And I’ll be safely locked up in there.”) and making total fools of themselves. When our heroes finally encounter the aliens themselves (a highly advanced race to be sure, and obviously gay), is when the film actually hits its high notes, and even comes across with a bit of a message if one can believe it. That is due in part to Dudley Manlove as Eros, probably the best (speaking) performance in the movie, along with his hot female sidekick played by Joanna Lee. Unfortunately, for all the hubcap flying saucers, off beat character traits like the cop who scratches his head with the barrel of his gun, or repeated shots of Lugosi coming down a pathway in broad daylight when the rest of the scene is at night, what cannot be forgiven is, even at 79 minutes, a turgid pace and lethargic flow to how the film plays out, especially with the endless bad montage bits or Wood’s continued fascination with constantly having one too many cop characters who go on and on with boring conversations constantly throughout the course of the film. It’s scenes like this that turn this film into something it should NEVER be, which is boring. Nevertheless, the documented determination of Wood in order to get this movie made, with little money or sense of quality, and STILL succeeding in making something that not only is still watched today, but started an avid cult following that continues to seek out literally ANYTHING Wood ever did, is nothing short of amazing, showing that Ed Wood may have had no talent, but he was one of a kind…
7/10