Timecop
Of all the major action stars that graced the screen during the golden age of the genre in the 1980s and 1990s, Jean-Claude Van Damme remains almost indisputably the worst actor out of all of them. He certainly had the look and the requisite fighting ability. However, unlike Arnold he was never able to overcome the European Belgium speech patterns and inflections that marred not only his ability to convey himself properly to American audiences, but he also lacked Schwarzenegger’s charisma and the obvious fact that Arnold was able to modify his native Austrian accent enough to be not only understandable to movie fans on our shores (and worldwide), but also relatable as well, playing “regular guy” action heroes as adeptly as he would play well trained killing machines. Even as Arnold found a way to be able to play “American”, Van Damme never did as he seemed to always be cast adrift when playing the same type of roles while we would always wait for an explanation or backstory on his American characters as it related to where in the hell exactly did he actually come from but we would usually never get one. He did start his career hitting the ground and running in Bloodsport (still the second best martial arts movie ever) where his stone faced displays of emotion were counterbalanced by the ultra cool concept of The Kumite Tournament and Bolo Yeung destroying everything in sight as the primary antagonist. In fact, as Van Damme’s career continued, he seemed to have everything an action hero could want including unbeatable, can’t miss concepts, quality actors playing the main villains who were opposing him and starring roles in high quality films that sometimes were even comic book or video game spinoffs. This 1994 release was one such example, not only based on a Dark Horse Comic Book of the same name but (in what was truly a rarity) actually scripted by one of the original creators of that comic book! Everything seemed to be just right especially based on the pitch / concept which was in a world where time travel is a reality (2004) yet still highly classified for obvious reasons, the discovery of several sudden ripples in time leads to the revelation that criminals are employing the time travel technology mostly for the use of obtaining profit, finding places in the past where large amounts of money are available and using it to line their own pockets in the present. Of course, why no villain has the balls to alter the past in ways other than that is something to be addressed in a sequel that would never happen, but the opening sequence showing one such criminal (who is never seen again) using modern weapons in 1864 to kill and rob some Confederate soldiers of their gold and a scene set shortly after that during the 1929 Stock Market crash where another criminal is cashing in on all the stocks that he already knows are going to make money is testament to the potential that the story has but fails to realize before things settle down into being your standard cop story with a twist. That is where Van Damme comes in, a typical rogue type who gives his commanding officer (Bruce McGill) his share of headaches even as he’s the one most trusted to get the job done. Still grieving (in 2004) over the tragic death of his wife ten years earlier in 1994 (Mia Sara, forever known as Ferris Bueller’s girlfriend), eventually he realizes that a true threat exists in the form of a corrupt Senator (Ron Silver) who not only is behind several schemes to take money out of the past for his own personal gain but is also using that money to finance a run for President where the idea is (as stated by Silver on camera) that the only way that a President can lead effectively is to have so much money that he never has to answer to anybody ever(!) even as he has his own prototype version of the time car / machine and routinely sends his goons out (sometimes even joining them if the job is not done to his liking) through the time / space continuum in order to “erase” his enemies by having them (and their families) attacked at some point in the past where they have no idea what’s going on or why they’re being bombarded and it’s also implied that Silver might just send his goons even further back to kill your grandparents in order to guarantee that you will never be BORN. Silver certainly makes for a good diabolical mastermind, slapping his aides around and buying off as many time agents as he can to ensure his success, but the film’s highlight are the scenes showing the 2004 Silver traveling back to 1994 to encounter his younger self (also played by Silver of course), who is a bit less jaded and a lot more naïve, not only berating him to clean up his act, but also directly confiding in him exactly what the game plan is as it relates to the next 10 years before his Presidential run and how he should be ready for what is to come. This take on a bad guy’s master plan (go back to his younger self to coach and advise him on what to do next) is extremely innovative and original and so it’s no surprise that Silver has a lot of fun with it along with his obvious contempt for the likes of Van Damme (whom it seems was a regular DC cop before being recruited to serve as law enforcement for time travel) but then again Van Damme is one of those guys who is given one liners to use during fight scenes (just like Arnold) but (unlike Arnold) is so bad at clearly pronouncing the one liners that the writers have given him that the audience can barely understand a word that he says so the effect of him being witty or ironic is completely lost on the poor viewer. The film also sadly shows during its convoluted climax that even with what would seem to be the obvious advantage of knowing how to counteract an impending ambush from the bad guys because he actually has lived through it before, Van Damme’s Max Walker manages to stumble and bumble quite a bit which only serves to drag the climax out unnecessarily even as the henchmen of a supposed future President like Silver look like rejects from a Mad Max film who stand out like a sore thumb in 1994 society. As stated, the intriguing segments set in 1864 and 1929 (both within the first 30 minutes) eventually give way to just having Van Damme going back and forth between 2004 and 1994 only to find out each time that he returns that major changes have occurred that only he is aware of (think of Biff’s Pleasure Palace in alternate 1985 only a lot more scaled down) as Silver’s levels of power and influence also seem to fluctuate as well. Of course, for someone who is a “cop”, Van Damme seems to rely very little on any kind of weaponry (which would probably solve his problems quicker) and more on his martial arts skills, a ploy that works at times (when a 1929 henchman advances on him the guy declares “I once went 10 rounds with John L. Sullivan” before Van Damme quickly kicks his teeth out) and other times seems needlessly ridiculous as when more of Silver’s very generic henchmen (he must get them straight out of the factory) come to Van Damme’s apartment armed with TASERS which gives us the chance to see Van Damme jump up on his kitchen counter and do a perfect split (a bit that was used in every trailer and TV ad to try and sell us on the film as corny as it is) or another one where he puts his boot up to the face of a would be purse snatcher without actually hitting him in order to convince him to give the old woman her purse back. The problem remains with Van Damme’s general personality since while he’s not an ugly guy per se, his lack of any kind of real acting skill especially when compared to other big names who suffered the same kind of criticism such as Seagal, Norris and Lundgren who all at least possessed the necessary CHARISMA to carry them through their various vehicles whereas Van Damme is totally at the mercy of his director and co stars to help him make a good movie since he never seemed to be able to take charge as an actor (he would have made a great choice as The Terminator or any other cyborg type role) enough to justify being in the same pantheon as the others. So what we get here is a can’t miss action / sci fi concept that still misses anyway due mostly to a journeyman director (Peter Hyams was never exactly an Oscar prestige guy) and an action star who seems to have never completely learned how to speak in a proper Western dialect and thus what should be many of his best and funniest moments wind up flying completely over the audience’s head simply because we cannot understand a word he says…
5/10