Warlock 2: The Armageddon
The concept for The Warlock Franchise should have been a canât miss: An evil being who has been alive and around for Time Immortal (and might just literally be The Son Of Satan) using every opportunity that another installment in the series would give him to carry out one plan after another to use ancient magic and sorcery to bring about the end of the world. With a fairly well known and respected major star like Julian Sands installed in the part, everything seemed poised to have a long and successful run especially since Sands would use his own natural charisma and acting ability to play the character instead of being buried under tons of makeup or under a mask. The first movie seemed to bode well for the future. Combining black humor with a truly mystical sense of awe, the film saw Sands escape from The 1600s through a spell induced time warp to arrive in modern day Los Angeles, pursued by the determined witch hunter who had originally captured him and the LA waitress whose home he had crash landed in as Sands sought out the Satanist / Witch Bible which contained the means to undo creation before he was stopped by the heroes. The key to this outing was obviously not just Sands kicking ass and taking souls as The Warlock, but also Richard E. Grantâs compelling turn as the witch hunter Redferne and Lori Singer as the aforementioned waitress who teams up with him. Thus (long story short) it was proven that any film in The Warlock Series was only as good as the good guys who were challenging Sandsâ Warlock and trying to stop him from bringing the world to an end. That included not only the actors playing the characters, but also in the writing and directing of these particular characters (all of which were solid in Part 1). Flash forward to 1993 and the release of this sequel to continue this promising series. Sands was a no brainer to return of course and quickly signed on (good) and shortly after Anthony Hickox (who had made the extremely entertaining homage / pastiche horror film Waxwork and the fun, underrated horror sequel Hellraiser 3) was brought on board as director. The plot had Sands as The Warlock finding a way to be reborn into our world (albeit with no memory of the secret name of God which he had managed to discover in Part 1 before being destroyed without having had the opportunity to use it to undo creation) by (literally) having himself embedded in the unknowing body of a NYC socialite and then bursting out of her as a full fledged man, using her corpse to contact the otherworldly forces who give him his âmissionâ this time around and as a final piece de resistance, greeting the dead womanâs boyfriend (a cameoing Zach Galligan) at the door naked before casting a âblankâ spell on him (making his mind go blank) and stealing his clothes (all black of course) that makes up his wardrobe for the rest of the film. His mission? To retrieve four more runestones (the first was with his now dead âmotherâ) which he can then use to summon The Devil and return him to Earth to bring about The Armageddon (so far so good). Now who is there to stop him? Well, apparently somewhere in Northern California there is a secluded sect of Druids (possibly the last of their kind) who already see all of the signs that nobody else can and whose sole purpose apparently is to prevent the end of the world that weâre all being threatened with as the leader of this group of Druids is played by Steve Kahan who is best known as the beleaguered Captain Murphy from The Lethal Weapon Films opposite Mel Gibson and Danny Glover (whoa stop right there). It is certainly one of the most unbelievably overwrought pieces of miscasting in the history of B movies, especially since Kahan himself plays the role with nothing less than total deadly conviction as if he believes that this performance will put him right into The Oscar Race (or at least The Hollywood A list). At least Grant in Part 1 could find the humor in his deadly serious Giles Redferne through the idea of having him be displaced in time, but here once Kahan is joined in the nonsense by other respected character actors such as R.G. Armstrong and Bruce Glover, the credibility goes right out the window as these guys solemnly behave as if theyâre literally playing characters from the Harry Potter franchise, casting their own little spells while trying to counteract The Warlock and only achieving a bit of success in doing so while Charles Hallahan (Norris from Carpenterâs The Thing) is the only one to bring a slight dose of comic relief to the proceedings as the bumbling member of the group who sets out to âtrackâ The Warlock only to get more than he bargained for. Turns out that these guys already know that thereâs nothing that they themselves can do against Sands and that they need to turn to special âDruid Warriorsâ to face off with and destroy him. Namely their kids, that being Kahanâs son played by Chris Young and Gloverâs daughter (keeping in mind that Glover had renounced his Druid heritage and had ironically become the town reverend while the people of the town mistakenly believed Kahan to be a Satanist before Glover returned to the fold by the end) played by Paula Marshall. Now while the idea of having the actual fighting with The Warlock in order to save the world be handed off to the younger generation is fine, again itâs the casting that sinks the film. Chris Young (nearly the most miscast actor in the film besides Kahan) exudes such a painful twerpiness that at times evokes Corey Haim at his obnoxious worst (probably would have been better off just casting Haim instead) with his high pitched voice and complete lack of screen presence that when the time comes that heâs finally face to face with Sands, it appears that Sands should be able to crumple him up and throw him in the trash and that he nearly does, leaving his good guy rival incapacitated for much of the final battle. As for Paula Marshall (a pretty girl who was effective in Hickoxâs Hellraiser sequel and at least went on to have a respectable career as a character actress), playing the other half of the duo who is the last to catch on as to what her supposed âdestinyâ is and yet on casual glance would appear to be (far) more powerful than her male counterpart seems promising at first but since Marshall is also given the burden of doing so much overemoting about her fate you almost expect Meryl Streep to stumble into the frame and collapse into a heap during her scenes. This along with Youngâs whiny theatrics (âDaddd!!â) and the aforementioned group of older actors results in one unintentionally hilarious scene after another where the writing and acting are just so bad that the viewer just sits there and laughs uproariously at watching these guys be stuck in front of a camera playing out this shit. At least Sands in his scenes still manages to uphold the badass nature of his role as it was established in Part 1, traveling across the country collecting each of the stones (The Druids hold the last one so heâll get to them last) first by nearly seducing a renowned fashion designer (Joanna Pacula) via a hilarious parody of the Lois Lane / Can You Read My Mind scene from Donnerâs Superman, then by tracking down a lowlife carnival barker who has his stone displayed as part of his freakshow before leaving him with a fate worse than death (easily the filmâs scariest, creepiest and most effective scene) and finally waltzes into the office of whom appears to be a rich billionaire (and like the barker tries to sell his stone to Sands) before turning him into a literal work of art. The fact that Sands travels across the country (New York to California) and spends half of the trip in a NYC cab driven by a zombie and the other half in an actual replica of The General Lee from The Dukes Of Hazzard clearly shows that his scenes are intended to be taken with some doses of humor (and hold up well) while the actors playing the âheroesâ do so in such a deadly straight manner that they inspire ridicule for all the wrong reasons. The climax (which nearly turns into a ridiculous Western shootout) features The Warlock losing out because he (a guy who clearly knows all of the Druid rules and always has his bases covered at all times) makes a mistake that is so stupid and unlike him that at least with having him go down they can finally stop the movie, albeit not before planting a hint for the characterâs return even as Sands was done with it at this point and the only sequel that was made after this would feature a different actor in the partâŚ
4/10