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Cry-Baby

Cry Baby

There is little doubt among serious film buffs that, based on his body of work, John Waters is consistently among the worst filmmakers of all time, even by cult movie standards, and this 1990 effort, which in many ways is a cheap knockoff of Grease, is another fine example of that.  The shame is that the film starts off with a bit of promise, featuring a montage of 1954 high school students getting vaccinated for polio, and continues with an interesting story about how town bad boy Cry Baby Walker (Johnny Depp, who was nowhere near the big star we know him as at this time), leader of the ā€œdrapesā€ (Watersā€™ term for white trash greasers), falls in love with a girl named Allison (Amy Locane, hot here but who immediately saw her career go into freefall after this), who belongs to a group who self-identifies themselves as ā€œsquaresā€ (i.e. straight-laced conservatives).  Even in the early outset it is clear that Waters has a ridiculously antiquated idea of how different social types actually look, dress, and behave, which leads to most of the characters coming across as (very) broad stereotypes.  Depp looks good and brings charisma to the film, but the character is so shallow that it makes one almost weep considering the carefully drawn performances of his later career, and itā€™s not helped that heā€™s saddled with Susan Tyrrell as his ā€œgrandmaā€ (who looks to only be about forty five years old) and Iggy Pop as her boyfriend, along with Ricki Lake (still hideously overweight at the time of filming) as his pregnant kid sister already with two children and one on the way, and Kim McGuire as the gargoyle-like Hatchet-Face, making this viewer physically ill on most of her closeups and causing immense sympathy for the poor little-known bastard playing her boyfriend who has to make out with her on camera.  The one saving grace here is Traci Lords, fresh off her scandalous porno career as another drape girl (with seemingly no interest in the opposite sex) who brings beauty, coolness, and real attitude to her part, making one wonder why sheā€™s never had that one legit lead movie role that itā€™s obvious sheā€™s capable of carrying.  The rest of the supporting cast consists of a laundry list of has-beens, including Polly Bergen, Troy Donahue, Mink Stole, Joe Dallesandro, Joey Heatherton, David Nelson, and even Patty Hearst in her film debut, plus a bit part for Willem Dafoe that has to be thought of as a tremendous tease, as he gets a great entrance scene and then disappears from the movie entirely.  The movie itself rolls along well for its first 30 minutes or so, before Waters runs out of steam and just throws out one random musical number after another since his script canā€™t really sustain the story (and the fact that none of the actors did their own singing hurts the authenticity greatly).  In terms of humorous bits though, I must say I actually laughed out loud 2 or 3 times here, particularly during the filmā€™s one instance of using the F word and another point when some prospective parents visit an orphanage to adopt and see that each kid has been put in their own display case like in a pet store.  Overall, thereā€™s some mileage here for Depp fans and bad movie lovers, if you arenā€™t too offended by the feeling of being underwhelmedā€¦

5/10

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