Brothers Grimm
Make no mistake about it: Terry Gilliam is one of the reigning geniuses in the history of Hollywood, with a track record of one classic after another to show for it. However, in 2005 he managed to come up with undoubtedly his worst movie ever (that I’ve seen), an absolute mess of a story coupled with mass interference by producers The Weinstein Brothers along with the constraints of obviously trying to work under a contracted PG-13 product. The problems starts right at the top with the casting of Matt Damon and Heath Ledger as the titular brothers: Their chemistry and ability to play off of each other is virtually non-existent, with each actor going off on completely different tangents with their performances. Damon plays a true blue hero type that nonetheless has the heart of a coward, while Ledger brings every quirk, tic, and weird facial expression he can to the table, with both being let down by the dreadful script and lack of character development. The story sees the two as 1800s-era paranormal investigators, riding into town and claiming they can rid the townsfolk of witches and demons (for a fee) when in reality they are charlatans, usually setting up the hauntings themselves and bilking the superstitious and easily scared people (similar to Michael J. Fox in Frighteners). The plot involves them being arrested by the French military, and then sent to a small village where (guess what) there is a REAL entity haunting it and causing young girls to disappear. The script does everything it can to incorporate bits and pieces of actual Grimm Bros. fairy tales into the mix (everything from Snow White to Little Red Riding Hood to Cinderella), with the idea that Ledger writes everything down and that their stories would be “inspired” by their “real life” experiences, but that only serves to make the movie more predictable as a result (who doesn’t see the twist with the Big Bad Wolf coming from a mile off?). In addition, while the two stars fumble about, it seems that at least half the performers with speaking roles are constantly trying to chew up all the available scenery, up to and including Peter Stormare as the French officer overseeing their operations. Indeed, Stormare goes COMPLETELY over the top (even by his own infamous standards), spitting and stomping around to the point where much of his dialogue is unintelligible, only calling that much attention to how bad the performance is while he has next to nothing to work with. We also get Jonathan Pryce trying to retain at least some of his dignity as the French General and local despot, but ultimately getting swept away as well; Monica Bellucci looking beautiful as usual but otherwise getting little to do as The Evil Queen (whose powers are never fully explained) who has cursed the village; and Lena Headey being the sole cast member to give something resembling a quality performance, as a female trapper who serves as a forest guide to our bumbling heroes and is (big surprise) much more adept at survival than they are. While her and Bellucci are both gorgeous, at least Headey succeeds at displaying something akin to inner strength. Nonetheless, it never seems to really go anywhere as it just turns into a back and forth of the main characters going into the “enchanted” forest and then back to the village and then back again, and even though there is some nice scenery and special FX (one scene where the forest comes to life and attacks everyone is ruined by Damon and Ledger’s constant gibbering about how there must be some hidden tracks that enable the trees to move) the whole enterprise is undone by the tedious machinations that cause the viewer to become rather restless and wishing to find something else to do, not to mention the tone of the film which seems to want to be darker, but can never quite make itself so, uh, grim. Overall, Gilliam’s worst film to date, a failed horror / action / fantasy whose most cardinal sin is its failure to suck the audience into its story…
4/10