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Girl Next Door

Girl Next Door

The first thing that struck me like a lightning bolt about this failed attempt at a romantic teen comedy is the woeful miscasting of Emile Hirsch in the lead role: When casting for the part of a high school geek who canā€™t get laid, itā€™s really NOT prudent to cast a pretty-boy male model type whose hair is always perfectly styled whom in real life would probably be getting pussy by the truckload (Itā€™s like casting Chad Michael Murray as Lewis Skolnick). Adding to the problems is the fact that Hirsch has absolutely zero chemistry with co-star Elisha Cuthbert. As hard as she tries to make it work, every time the two of them are on camera together, I became very aware of Hirsch huffing and puffing and just plain overacting in order to convince us thereā€™s an attraction, when really thereā€™s about as many sparks there as a frozen icepick. Cuthbert fares quite a bit better as the porn star who moves next door: The camera absolutely LOVES her, and every little cute nuance and facial gesture resonates with the viewer, if not her co-star. Perhaps the biggest shame here is that the scenes developing their relationship take up only the first half, while in the second half Cuthbert is relegated to being a sideline character in essence cheering on her boyfriend. Also, director Luke Greenfield gets totally carried away with the ā€œoh, itā€™s not real, itā€™s only a daydreamā€ storytelling technique to the point of frustration (including three times IN ONE SCENE), which totally kills much of the pacing of the story. The supporting cast does somewhat better, especially Timothy Olyphant as Cuthbertā€™s old friend from the ā€œbusinessā€, effortlessly stealing every scene heā€™s in despite the fact that the writing for his character is extremely erratic (first heā€™s a cool guy, then heā€™s a dickhead, then heā€™s an asshole, then heā€™s an outright villain, then heā€™s back to somewhat being a cool guy again), but Olyphant bravely shoulders on and makes his turn the most likable in the film. Itā€™s also nice to see to see 80s acting icon James Remar pop up here as a porn mogul who surprisingly turns out to be the savior of the story for the leads. And as Hirschā€™s two best friends, Chris Marquette and Paul Dano (whom I didnā€™t even recognize at first) are a lot of fun as the sex-obsessed porno fan and nerdy misfit who get caught up in the high-jinx. The filmā€™s comic setpieces are not really as funny as the director seems to think they are (except for the awesome lapdance scene), and the sequence where Hirsch is given a dose of Ecstasy (and Cuthbert practically condones its use), is borderline offensive, as we watch this character happily grooving away and talking about ā€œjust living life my manā€ while tripping on a drug that has resulted in many real life deaths, not the best message to be sending to a target teen audience. The final twist though (concerning the actual nature of the film that the characters make at the end) is actually kinda clever, if unrealistic, and much of the soundtrack music selected is superb. In the end, with a better script and lead casting, coulda been great, but instead is below-averageā€¦

5/10

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