Terror Train
The success of John Carpenterâs Halloween is of course responsible for setting off a slasher / horror wave of unprecedented proportions, so much so that even its star (Jamie Lee Curtis) quickly earned the title of âScream Queenâ for not only reprising her role of Laurie Strode in 1981âs Halloween 2, but for also doing a complete slate of unrelated horror roles in other movies during the period of the early 80s, a career move that may have seemed risky to some (typecasting) but amazingly it worked like a charm in keeping her name out there and thus making her transition to non horror roles that much smoother since horror had established her as a well liked actress and a legitimate celebrity on top of that. None of her non Halloween horror flicks during this time were particularly notable as far as living up to Carpenterâs classic, but this twisted little entry from 1980 (directed by future Bond movie helmer Roger Spottiswoode) is considered arguably the best remembered out of all of them. The premise to set up the story is similar to the whole ânerd gets bullied and goes homicidalâ gimmick used in such other films as Slaughter High, but the opening scene setup is still rather sloppily done. The nerd in question (Derek McKinnon) is a fraternity pledge attending a bonfire with his brothers to be who apparently have found out that he has a rabid crush on the campus good girl (Curtis) and even moreso, have told him that Curtis likes him too and have now set the two of them up on a âdateâ where he is expected to go up to her room and do the deed (his first time) only to find himself in bed with a medical school cadaver instead! The interesting thing here is in how the nerd (once the frat brothers burst in laughing at their sick yet good natured prank) reacts by screaming uncontrollably like a banshee, jumping up and down and then getting wrapped up in the white drapes strewn about the bed while later on in the movie we learn that he had suffered a nervous breakdown and was committed to a mental institution (but nonetheless did not endure any actual physical harm or deformity) all because he was essentially promised sex with a girl that he liked but in the end was denied (he must have REALLY liked her). Flash forward to three years later as the main characters are getting ready to celebrate their impending graduation by chartering a train from a low rent railroad company and throwing the biggest mobile party ever seen. Curtis is there along with her hot blonde best friend, their respective boyfriends (one of whom is future Hans Gruber target practice candidate Hart Bochner), and who along with a goofy black guy and a just as equally nerdy guy as the prank victim sporting a Groucho Marx mask and a blow up doll as his date comprise the main core group of those who are directly responsible for tricking a socially awkward geek into nearly screwing a corpse three years earlier (keeping in mind that what drove the guy nuts to begin with was NOT by screwing the corpse which he never did do, but rather by climbing into bed naked thinking he was gonna screw Jamie Lee and finding a corpse instead as it was the denial of guaranteed sex with a girl that broke his weak mind completely) and (considering there are about a hundred other students on the train as well) are pretty much the main targets of the killer nerd on his rampage (notwithstanding those who get in his way as well). Also on board is the legendary Oscar winning character actor Ben Johnson (in a classic example of the old school big name star signing on for a quick payday in an utter piece of dreck compared to some of the classics that heâs been in) as the trainâs conductor with a wheelchair bound wife (who refuses to accompany him in chaperoning such a wild party crowd) who early on gets one pointless scene after another while engaging in idle banter with his fellow crew members before he starts stumbling onto the bodies, whereupon (since the train company is so cheap that they provide no radios or any other means of outside communication onboard) he tries to keep it quiet so as not to start a panic (they canât stop either since it turns out that there are no nearby roads at all) all while futilely searching for the killer on the train. The one thing that makes this movie even remotely special though is not in Curtis or Johnson being in the cast nor is it about anything being particularly well done with the gore or makeup special effects (nothing that couldnât be done with a bottle of ketchup at least) but rather in developing and evoking one of (if not the) greatest red herrings in the history of horror as about halfway through the movie we learn that the killer nerd (whose first name is Kenny) was actually known to have a keen interest in magic and becoming a magician himself. It also turns out that booked on this fateful train ride to provide the entertainment for everybody is an actual magician played by THE David Copperfield!! But it gets better: Turns out that Copperfield has an aloof personality and is even being shown acting strangely at times, implying at first that he might not just be a magician, but maybe also some kind of occultist who is committing the murders as some form of blood sacrifice. But later on, when Copperfield is shown having a romantic interest in Curtis and is revealed to have the same first name as the nerd (Ken), it suddenly starts getting thrown out there that Copperfield IS indeed the same nerd who was lured into bed with a dead body three years earlier (albeit played by a different actor of course while also implying that a pretty heavy physical makeover must have been done since unlike the creepy nerd actor Copperfield is very handsome) and is also using his skills as an illusionist to help set up and lure his intended victims to their deaths. Even while eliminating Copperfield as an actual suspect, the possibilities remain (though never fully explained in the movie) that Copperfield DOES have some sort of connection to the magic loving killer nerd, either as a mentor or even possibly as a partner in crime who is fully aware of what the nerd is doing (and may have at least helped in smuggling him onto the train itself). As earlier stated, the kills are uninteresting at best, save for the idea that the killer nerd (who like Copperfield is skinny and slightly built) seems to have near superhuman strength whenever he has a victim cornered or suffers any sort of physical damage from someone who fights back and he also seems to take a perverse pleasure (since for some reason this party is also a masquerade ball where several guests are wearing masks or costumes) in donning the costume of whoever it is he has just murdered and continuing to roam the train unbothered by other people who just presume him to be the now dead person who had boarded the train wearing the costume (thus making him in many ways a master of disguise as well). Even while Johnsonâs down home train conductor tries to play detective during all this (and doesnât really do all that good a job) and all the various couples onboard seem more interested in sneaking off with someone besides their significant others (including future Prince protĂ©gĂ© Vanity), we find out that in many ways Curtis herself remains traumatized with guilt for agreeing to have taken part in the prank that went wrong since we learn that she actually took the time to go visit the killer nerd in the looney bin afterwards intending to apologize to him, but instead was denied access to see him and was also told that he was known to have killed someone even before the prank took place. This both succeeds in making Curtis more likable than the other characters and also implies that the killer nerd (portrayed as a shy, sensitive type during the opening flashback) might have really been an evil son of a bitch all along and not even worthy of Curtisâ sympathy at the time who simply snapped over not getting what he wanted upon realizing that it was actually a prank instead (i.e. the corpse in the bed had little to nothing to do with his breakdown). It all ends with an extended fight scene between Curtis and the nerd whose length rivals Roddy Piper vs Keith David in They Live followed by a fake death where he comes back at her and so forth. If not for the still fascinating Copperfield angle though (the only fictional acting role he ever had), this film would probably be forgotten on the scrapheap of cinematic history even with the presence of two legends like Curtis and Johnson in the mix, but then again it seems that horror fans just canât get enough of their horror movie fixâŠ
7/10