G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra
In making this live action adaptation of the 80s cartoon and action figure line, one must remember this: the ORIGINAL CONCEPT was a super cheesy pseudo-military claptrap with heroic elite soldiers battling an evil organization who wanted to take over the world, nothing more than that. So, director Stephen Sommers, with his penchant for cornball action movies that was fairly inappropriate for the Mummy films, was indeed the perfect choice to bring this to the screen, with enough explosions, advanced weaponry, and even a systematic destruction of Paris while fighting the bad guys that could be something out of Team America. The film opens with a bunch of ānormalā soldiers transporting a highly advanced weapon when suddenly they are attacked by enemies with FAR more advanced technology (including an electro-pulse cannon) and quickly wiped out except for two of them, before being intercepted and stopped by the āJoesā, a classified, covert outfit consisting of the best military personnel from around the world (as opposed to the old show, which was the best AMERICA had to offer). Led by Dennis Quaid as the stalwart General Hawk, they offer comfort and shelter to the two survivors before beginning their training. The two nominal leads aināt exactly great shakes: Channing Tatum as Duke clearly represents the seemingly new breed of movie action hero, a hunky male model type who canāt act his way out of a paper bag and fails utterly at any attempt to portray toughness, while Marlon Wayans as the guy who barely qualifies for the team wisecracks his way through the film and grins constantly like he thinks heās making people laugh. These two negatives are nullified in many ways by the villains, in particular Sienna Miller as The Baroness: beautiful, sexy, and deadly, with a dual nature showing that thereās some ounce of good in her, Miller intrigues the viewer whenever she is onscreen, whether looking hot while she merrily blows up the Eiffel Tower, or being conflicted when it comes to capturing or trying to kill the Duke character (her former fiancĆ©e). In addition, we get independent movie darling Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the Cobra Commander, the iconic kiddie villain of the old show, and Gordon-Levitt finds a nice balance between muhaha cartoon bad guy and deadly serious terrorist type; Doctor Who actor Christopher Eccleston as weapons designer Destro, first seen hawking his wares to NATO; Byung-hun Lee as the deadly super ninja Stormshadow; and the always-welcome Arnold Vosloo as Zartan, grand master of disguise, while the rest of the Joe team consists of Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje not bringing much to the table as the thick-accented Heavy Duty; Rachal Nichols doing what she can as redheaded genius Scarlett OāHara, even as sheās forced into a chemistry-lacking romance with Wayans; Ray Park as the sleek but mute killing machine Snake Eyes; and Said Taghmaoui as the techie known as Breaker. The script does well to establish backstory and past history among good guys and bad guys (most notably the childhood relationship between Stormshadow and Snake Eyes), and the over-the-top, plot hole ridden yet still fun story is played perfectly tongue-in-cheek, with action sequences that play out as purely kinetic and (this time) a reasonable explanation for some impossible CGI physical feats (ie a special suit that enhances normal physical abilities). Overall, a corny yet cool action movie that succeeds at entertaining the viewer more than annoying himā¦
7/10