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Lovely Bones

Lovely Bones

Sometimes books that were truly effective reads really don’t translate very well to the screen, and that seems to be the case with this 2009 adaptation of the story about a murdered 14 year old girl who narrates the story and watches over her family from Heaven, and comes off as being slow-paced, depressing, and dreadfully manipulative. Admittedly, Oscar-winning director Peter Jackson gets uniformly good performances from just about all his actors, particularly Saoirse Ronan as the main character and Stanley Tucci as her killer. Actually 14 at the time of shooting, Ronan does an excellent job of getting the viewer invested in her Susie Salmon, whether it be with the narration or the scenes from when she was alive and at times within the pop bubblegum world she calls Heaven. As for Tucci (Oscar nominated for Supporting Actor here), he turns the creepiness on to 11 as the perverted serial killer who knows just how to talk to his victims and lure them into traps (including the Underground Rape Chamber he has built for Susie), and Tucci, who has always had that slight deviant quality in his other roles, seems to be born for the part. The other cast members include Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz as the parents, and beautiful New Zealand born newcomers Rose McIver and Carolyn Dando as respectively, Susie’s sister and the gorgeous older Goth girl who seems to have psychic abilities. That being said, we also have The Sopranos’ Michael Imperioli as arguably one of the densest movie detectives of all time, a guy who does a routine interrogation of one of the neighbors (Tucci) and doesn’t see any suspicion in the fact that here is an unmarried middle aged man who lives alone with a shaky alibi who builds fucking DOLLHOUSES for a hobby?? Hello!! Finally there is Susan Sarandon bringing unwelcome comic relief to the film as the chain-smoking, boozing Grandma (who seems to have suffered no grief over her dead granddaughter) who decides to “take charge” of the household when the parents’ anguish is so crippling that they cannot properly raise their other kids, including giving Sarandon a ridiculous montage (with upbeat music) showing her dancing and getting things done around the house. Which furthers the essential problems with the film, that at times it tries to run and hide from the fact that it IS an irredeemably grim story, with the Susie In Heaven scenes coming across as a teeny bopper version of What Dreams May Come (a movie that is certainly worse than this) and ultimately proves that all filmmakers should try to avoid portraying any kind of CGI up the yingyang version of “Heaven” on film, because of the simple fact that what might appear to be Paradise to one person can come off to another as incredibly boring and insipid, plus for a running time of 2 hours and 15 minutes there really isn’t much story to go around. And then there are some of the story ideas involving this scenario that don’t work at all, particularly the one that says, when you are murdered by a serial killer and go to Heaven, there you will find a literal support group made up of that killer’s past victims who will help and guide you through the transition (ugh), not to mention the idea that Susie seems to establish a direct psychic, telepathic link to her still-alive father (and sister) and essentially TELLS them when they come face to face with the killer who he really is. Perhaps the biggest whopper comes though when Susie finds herself able to literally POSSESS a character’s body, and what does she do? Let her family know that she’ll be alright and give them closure? NO! She decides she wants to kiss and fool around with the School Pretty Boy who had talked to her maybe twice when she was alive instead (double ugh). As you can see, the whole endeavor is basically one big mishmash which literally tries to cue the viewers as to when we’re supposed to cry, when we’re supposed to smile, etc, but overall doesn’t really work, and worse, comes off as the LAST thing you’d want to show to people like Natalee Holloway’s mother and others who have suffered this kind of horrific tragedy in real life, as no doubt it would inspire contempt and disdain rather than some sort of cathartic release. In the end, only recommended for people who “enjoy” the most depressing type of material possible…

5/10

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