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Sorority House Massacre

Sorority House Massacre

With the booming advancement of physical media (most notably high definition blu rays), the sweepstakes concerning which older movies that (given a proper restoration) can look as good as new when viewed on modern home theater setups has skewed considerably in favor of the horror genre, most obviously that of the 80s variety and definitely involving the slasher movie subgenre. The glut of films that tried to copy the unholy trinity of John Carpenter’s Halloween, Sean Cunningham’s Friday The 13th and Wes Craven’s A Nightmare On Elm Street was vast and unyielding but still it is these films (most of which were readily dismissed in their day) that are becoming more and more suitable candidates to be meticulously redone and reintroduced in a glossy sheen to all the horror fans that just can’t get enough while there are still Oscar nominated movies that haven’t even gotten the time of day yet to be redone. A textbook example of this mentality is this 1986 release produced by Roger Corman that was reportedly given a new high definition master struck from the original negative (and admittedly looks great). As a period time capsule of the era it was made in, it definitely stands as a window to another day and age in the relatively fun and innocent times of the 80s complete with the clothing, the hairstyles and even the posters on the wall (and with no wall of graininess to obscure it or give it that VHS look). The film’s big point of note in the 80s slasher wars was that it was the second major entry (after the similarly titled Slumber Party Massacre films) to be written and directed by a woman (Carol Frank, who had been a production assistant on Slumber Party 1 but was almost never heard from again after this) with the idea being that having this type of story done by a female director would somehow erase the misogynistic viewpoints that many had suspected these films of having whenever they were directed by men (i.e. that they promoted violence against women because women were usually the main victims). Unfortunately, just like the Slumbers, this one would mostly stick to the rules of the format instead of bringing any kind of fresh new perspective. A suspicious eye can be turned to the situation involving the casting of the lead actress here (Angela O’Neill) whom AFTER she had been hired was told that she was required to do nudity for her role which she adamantly refused to do, even threatening to walk off the set if the issue persisted. The filmmakers relented (mostly because of the low budget and tight schedule which precluded having to recast the part) and allowed her to stay clothed even if O’Neill herself saw her own acting career dry up afterwards until she embarked on a new venture as an on set Movie Propmaster which she continues to do to this day. As for her role here, she has her hair cut butchy and short (perhaps as a nod to Jamie Lee Curtis) but comes across as being so blandly asexual and unfeminine that maybe having a wig put on her might not have been such a bad idea. She plays a college student who for some unstated reason has come to stay at a sorority house on campus (it is never said whether or not she is actually going to be a pledge). Once there, she starts having hypersurreal dreams about a seemingly deranged killer committing brutal murders in the very same house. It turns out that this killer is very much real and currently residing in the local mental institution and even worse, can sense her having these visions as well while finding himself drawn to her and compelled to escape (by bashing in the head of the wimpy male orderly bringing him breakfast and not even being discovered as missing until hours later). Of course, no points are awarded for correctly guessing that these two are actually long lost siblings (just like the more celebrated brother and sister duo of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode) and that the psychic “homing beacon” connection is so that he can finish the job proper of murdering his family which he had started long ago and which she (being a little girl at the time) had blocked out of her own memory. So what do we have for a killer here? Well, this guy’s name is Robert Hinkel (played by an actor named John Russell who later died young at age 39) and he appears to be a fellow who even in the mental institution wears your standard burglar’s outfit of a black sweater, black pants and sneakers (as opposed to hospital scrubs which even Myers was shown to be wearing when HE escaped) which makes it all the easier for him to leap the fence during his escape (where he magically makes the barbed wire seen at the top of the fence disappear as he scales it), steal a sharp knife from a cutlery store (and butcher the old man who works there when he gets caught) and then steal a car from the front of a gas station (as he runs over the lady who owns it) all while making his way to the sorority house that his sister is at because (surprise!) that is actually the house that they BOTH used to live in and where the original family massacre had taken place, hence the psychic trigger being set off when she (unknowingly) came back there to (possibly?) consider joining a sorority. Now for the real lowdown on this movie: Even though the title implies this as being a horror / slasher with a salacious element (beautiful, slutty college girls being butchered by a maniac) and the poster even features a beautiful babe half naked who herself does not appear in the actual movie, the sad truth is that the female actresses who play the “main group” of sorority girls in the house are actually of the rather nondescript sort, in some ways cute and pretty but overall just somewhat ordinary in the looks department, with none of them appearing to make any effort to rise above the bad writing here by coming up with their own improvised bits of business to elevate the stock of their performances (a quality that actually enhanced many of The Friday The 13th sequels) as many of the other sorority girls who early on are seen leaving (for Spring Break) are better looking than the main cast also! So besides having the main female cast being upstaged by the female extras, we also have the stock characters of their idiot boyfriends who show up and come knocking looking to have a good time (and provide more meat and gristle for the killer). They include a creepy nerd with glasses and braces (who really is the beloved boyfriend of one of the main girls), the he man alpha male who is only thinking about getting his girl alone somewhere even if it’s in the makeshift teepee in the backyard (which makes it a prime attack target for the killer to strike) and a wormy, wanna be Robert DeNiro type who actually makes a romantic connection with the lead character (and makes for a handy human shield when the big moment arrives)! As far as our killer is concerned, he is said to have been mute for years until the psychic link up causes him to utter his sister’s name repeatedly, but unlike Myers, he doesn’t wear any kind of a mask and at face value appears to carry more of a social misfit vibe to him than anything else. His invulnerability skills (so valuable to both Myers and Jason Voorhees) actually seem to come and go at the most opportune times (although nobody in the film is ever shown pulling a gun on him as that would be the ultimate test of his abilities), shaking off three story falls and cracks to his head and back with a shovel but shrieking like a girl if he is ever stabbed with anything. It kind of says something when his concerned female psychiatrist who racks up a whole ten minutes of screentime is truthfully the best looking woman in the whole movie while the assortment of designated victims (most of whom besides the lead actress DO display some nudity) are rather average in their own looks. As run of the mill as all of this is, it still shows that horror movies are amongst the most prized when it comes to which kind of older films are being quickly churned out for the home media market (classics or not) while the lesser regarded films from the past in almost any other type of genre are being shoved onto the back burner because a forgettable flop like this is being given a painstaking, frame by frame restoration and reconstruction solely based upon what section of the oldschool video store aisles it was once displayed in, an area of those stores that nonetheless always drew the largest amounts of young kids looking for something cool to rent on any given night…

4/10

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