Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Absurdity can be one of the trickiest things to pull off in all of cinema, to have a premise that by itself is completely outlandish and renders much of the story itself to be downright laughable, yet shoulders on by playing its story as straight as an arrow and letting the audience decide if it’s entertaining enough. One thing that can be guaranteed is that the movie is almost NEVER perfect, and this release from last year is no exception, fulfilling the initial precept of having a terrible, awful script, but nonetheless directed with some real style along with a game cast and some outstandingly well-done action sequences. The fact that it was released mere months before Spielberg’s soberingly serious Lincoln biopic lends it some actual bite, as it portrays our 16th President as a man who’s main mission in his life was the hunting down and destroying of all vampires, even going so far as to make The Civil War a mere part of this greater conflict, as it is said that the rich slave-owning Southern plantation crowd were in fact truly evil vampires, and that by freeing the slaves Lincoln was actually depriving them of their easiest, most dependable food source, since blacks in the South at that time had no rights, no liberties, and in many cases no names, which makes causing a few of them (or many) to disappear to be no great cause for concern. It also cleverly makes certain actual elements of Lincoln’s life (like his youngest son’s death during his first year in The White House) a direct result of his ongoing conflicts with the undead. Benjamin Walker as Honest Abe may not be Daniel Day-Lewis, but still does as good a job as can be expected, passably looking the part while handling himself well in both the wild action scenes as well as the historically better known statesman-like moments, all while the film smartly allows the Lincoln character to still have his dignity as a revered figure rather than turn him into a campy, Ash-style caricature. As the vampire hunter who recruits and trains him at a young age, Dominic Cooper brings plenty of angry charisma, and remains a strong presence throughout the film, while Anthony Mackie is a bit more lost as Lincoln’s token black friend who is also shown to be by his side throughout his life. Then we get Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Mary Todd Lincoln, considerably more ravishingly beautiful than the frumpy version played by Sally Field (which she was said to resemble more in real life). We also get veteran movie villain Rufus Sewell bringing just the right amount of class and presence as the prerequisite Head Vampire of the story, and Marton Csokas as a particularly nasty henchman, but Erin Wasson’s evil Vampire Bitch is kind of a wasted opportunity, looking great in the part but hardly getting a chance to shine. As said, certain elements of the script and story would indicate that the writer was out to lunch with the number of dumb and stupid mistakes that characters make at certain points (along with the fact that the Cooper character seems to always pop into the story at the most opportune time with some kind of inside info on the vampire’s activities, but it is never explained just exactly HOW he knows), but at least director Timor Bekmambetov brings a real flair to the materal with the over the top action and fight scenes, and just as much proper, well-shot solemnness to the serious “dramatic” bits too, which basically all means in the end that if you want a super serious tome about Lincoln’s life, call Mr. Spielberg, but if you’re looking to be entertained greatly in a wild, don’t-give-a-shit kind of way, you could do a heck of a lot worse than this rollercoaster ride of a movie…
8/10