Diamonds Are Forever
With the departure of George Lazenby from the Bond films after one outing (depending on what source you listen to, he was either fired or quit), the producers offered Sean Connery an INSANE amount of money to come back and play Bond one more time before the advent of the Roger Moore era, and the âone last paydayâ mentality shows here, as Connery brings a little more life to the proceedings than in his last couple of outings, even if he has aged considerably as well. Fortunately they also brought back Guy Hamilton, director of the best Connery film (Goldfinger), and with it comes the brisk pacing of that movie, never getting too bogged down in one location and flowing along in incredibly smooth fashion. The action takes place for the most part in Las Vegas this time (with a quick stop in Amsterdam), and it definitely adds a new color to the series, with Bond trying to track down a reclusive billionaire and enjoying the bright lights, but with that comes a campy nature unfortunately, featuring moments that wouldnât have seemed out of place in the 1967 Casino Royale spoof, including Bond stumbling into (for no apparent reason) a studio where there is a recreation of the moon landing (complete with astronaut henchmen who try to stop him), then leading the bad guys on an extended chase through the desert in a silly moon buggy. The story begins with Bond tracking down and âkillingâ his archnemesis Ernst Stavro Blofeld, only to have Blofeld come back later in the film as the head of a diamond smuggling operation before the plot shifts and now has Blofeld in control of a satellite laser which he uses to cause ânuclear accidentsâ and hold the world ransom in exchange for total nuclear disarmament and world peace (ironic). As Blofeld, we get Charles Gray this time (best known as the no neck Criminologist from Rocky Horror, complete with cigarette holder), and in terms of screen presence and villainy, he barely holds a candle to either Pleasence or Savalas, bringing instead a contemptuous attitude towards 007 (I counted two times Blofeld had Bond dead to rights and still failed to kill him, the second time even giving Bond a tour of his oil rig lair) and mostly giving off the impression that he is bored and unimpressed by his rival.  We do however, get two of the best henchmen in the series, the creepy gay killers Mr. Wynt and Mr. Kidd (Bruce Glover and Putter Smith), with their clever little fortune cookie exchanges usually coming after theyâve murdered someone, and they also would have the distinction of being the first henchmen to come back and make an attempt on Bondâs life in the closing scene as well (which would become a staple of the series). This too is offset by the particular lameness of the Bond Girls: Lana Wood as Plenty OâToole is gorgeous and seems ready to play, but her part is merely abbreviated as sheâs removed from the story before she can even sleep with Bond; and Jill St. Johnâs Tiffany Case is one of the more shrill and unlikable of the Bond Babes, not to mention unrealistic, as sheâs supposed to be this under the radar diamond smuggler yet dresses so scantily in public that thereâs no way sheâs not gonna attract attention. On the plus side, we are treated to an extended car chase through the streets of Vegas with Bond and several cop cars that clearly inspired The Blues Brothers, and the offbeat casting of country music star and pork sausage king Jimmy Dean as the Howard Hughes-like billionaire being held by Blofeld so that the evil genius may control his empire. Sadly the script remains convoluted and the story is hard to follow at times, and a number of bits seemed destined to the spy spoof Hall Of Fame (especially the Austin Powers moment of having a henchmen whose only job it is to sit there and count down to destruction in a heavy accent while everything blows up around him), right up to the confusing ending, where it just is never made clear if Blofeld escapes or not or even if his plan to blow up Washington D.C. was actually foiled. In the end, despite having some good things and some bad things, a Bond film that ultimately leaves this viewer indifferentâŚ
5/10