Return Of The Killer Tomatoes
The all out slapstick, anything goes for a laugh style of movie comedy was invented and just about perfected by Mel Brooks and The ZAZ Gang with such comedy masterpieces as Blazing Saddles and Airplane!. The at least partial strategy for these types of films was to always have a keen self awareness (even when it comes to casting certain actors and making obviously joking references to their past work) and to never allow anything to take on even the slightest hint of actual, genuine seriousness. What many consider to be a noble but failed attempt to do such material on a low budget scale would have to be 1978âs Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, a film whose ridiculousness level was self explanatory by its very title, made by San Diego based filmmakers who were just going to throw everything that they could think of (based on their budget) against a wall and see if it would stick. Most of it didnât, at least not really, but then again the ludicrous title and premise along with the sight of fake looking giant tomatoes rolling down the street squashing and eating people still appealed to the most indiscriminating of cult movie fans. Flash forward ten years later and the original filmâs director (John DeBello), who was well aware of its limited cult success, decided to try again and this time, he and his associates scored in a really big way. Whether the original script really resembled anything in the finished film is up for debate, but the utter insanity of taking on a low budget comedy that sets down the ground rules from the getgo that many of the jokes are going to be based on the fact that itâs a low budget film is just the tip of the iceberg for the maniacally hilarious level of humor that we see here. Although a number of characters from the original return, the only actual returning actor from 1978 is co producer / co writer J. Stephen âRockâ Peace (an actual California politician who served in The State Assembly and State Senate as a Democrat) as Wilbur Finletter, an absolute idiot of a government operative who runs around in a pilotâs uniform brandishing a sword complete with an open parachute dragging around behind him (which is also good for him to get tangled up in during moments of peril, his specialty). Another casting coup here was in that of John Astin as Professor Gangreen, the primary villain of the film (as well as the two little seen sequels that followed) who is a mad scientist believed to have been responsible for the original tomato epidemic and now has devised a way to turn tomatoes (which have long since been banned since the âGreat Tomato Warâ of the first film) into actual human beings who nonetheless can be controlled and told what to do at all times. The film also features two scandal ridden figures of recent years, the first being Rick Rockwell (whose sleazy entrance and forced kiss of âlucky winnerâ Darva Conger on the Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire pageant only managed to reduce him to the level of being the creepiest white man on the planet) as the first filmâs main culprit (played by a different actor there) now locked in prison awaiting Gangreen and his henchmen to come bust him out and Gary Condit (the infamous former Congressman whose admitted mistress and intern Chandra Levy disappeared off the face of the planet with him as the most possible suspect in a case that was never solved) as an extra during a scene in a pizza parlor (where such things as peanut butter and chocolate syrup are used instead of tomato sauce). Of course, the main bonanza here (and the reason that the movie remains popular today besides the fact that itâs funny) is that in the role of one of the two main heroes they actually have future A list megastar and Oscar winner George Clooney (when he was young and sporting a mullet) who is paired with lightly regarded B movie actor Anthony Starke as his best friend. It is really something to see as while Starke overacts profusely throughout the whole film (and may have done a few too many lines of coke during the shoot), Clooneyâs strategy is to remain completely and absolutely oblivious and detached at all times, not even seeming to care (ever) about anything going on within the actual plot (even obviously blowing his lines on camera at one point and just acting through it), choosing instead to make laid back wisecracks constantly and smile for the camera as if he already knows that heâs going on to bigger things. In short, it makes for a hilarious comedy performance which has only gotten funnier as time goes on. Whether it be running a scam âWin a date with Rob Loweâ contest so that he can meet girls or being more concerned with watching âFull Contact Americaâs Cupâ action on TV all while his coked up best buddy is freaking out over whatever the current crisis is in the filmâs storyline, Clooneyâs awesomely obtuse donât give a shit attitude is both daring and successful in such a way that only Clooney could have pulled off. The main point of contention here is in Gangreenâs most successful creation, a âperfect tomato womanâ played by Karen Mistal (a gorgeous babe in her own right who deserved a longer career) whom Starkeâs character (who is Finletterâs nephew) has fallen madly in love with. Turns out that she really is perfect: she loves to cook and clean, plus she knows over 600 sexual positions and is really compliant in every way (thus thereâs no way that she could be human), but she also carries around a fuzzy little mutant tomato which she has adopted and calls F.T. (for Fuzzy Tomato) and she always runs the risk of turning back into a tomato if she hears the wrong kind of music (music being the triggering factor in the experimental transformations that Gangreen has devised). All of this would probably be enough to sustain the movie, but then it goes completely over the cliff into either utter brilliance or utter stupidity (depending on your point of view) when halfway through director DeBello is heard yelling cut and then comes on camera to announce that they just donât have enough money to finish the actual movie until Clooney (sitting in a makeup chair being fawned over incessantly) pipes up and suggests that in order to finish the movie that maybe they should move in the direction of using massive name brand product placement in order to get the needed funds to get it done, which DeBello agrees to and then the movie resumes, with Clooney getting in at least a half dozen major plugs all by himself, Astin wearing a Pepsi logo on the back of his white mad scientist jacket and a random fight breaking out in the pizza parlor which Clooney stays out of while he still manages to hold a name brand cereal box up to the camera. Some bits in the movie do get a bit tiresome and annoying, particularly anything involving Astinâs assistant named Igor who is actually a blond haired, blue eyed pretty boy (and is played by two time gold medal winning 1984 Olympic swimmer Steve Lundquist) who has aspirations of being a TV news anchor and even annoyingly talks like one throughout the movie while he does Gangreenâs dirty work like collecting toxic waste for his experiments, stalking and kidnapping the leading lady to bring back to his âmasterâ, and taking part in the planning and attempted prison breakout of Rockwellâs corrupt character. It must also be said that the antics of Wilbur Finletter and his two sidekicks (a black guy who is allegedly a master of disguise and a guy who always wears scuba gear for some reason) can get old pretty fast, but then you also have the sight of John Astin stomping around in his old Gomez Addams suit for no reason at all, a TV interviewer (played by the director) hilariously insulting a fat woman on the street, a fuzzy puppet tomato that is cheaper than most stuffed animals and George Clooney a few short years from superstardom giving a performance that is so laid back that it seems like he could care less, yet miraculously still making it work for the benefit of the film itself which as a whole some might call comic genius if they werenât worried over the stigma of applying that label to a Killer Tomatoes movieâŚ
8/10