Adventures Of Ford Fairlane
Before he was brought down by the liberal, PC establishment that condemned him and his career for telling dirty jokes, Andrew Dice Clay (in the absolute prime of his career) got his chance to shine in his only major starring vehicle, a hilarious comedy that may be the best example of crafting a tailor-made quality film around one man’s persona. Certainly Renny Harlin stepped up to the plate and did a tremendous job as director, creating an alternate universe of Los Angeles that makes it seem like a completely different world from our reality, a netheruniverse awash in sleaze, corruption, and moral decay, with extraordinary camerawork and editing to boot. The Fairlane character remains faithful to the original Rex Weiner old magazine stories: a “Rock N Roll Detective” who rises above and looks down at the pitiful souls beneath him, all the while maintaining his image as the coolest person in the room. Dice Clay epitomizes that role to a tee, right to the point that a number of his famous stand-up punchlines are incorporated into the script. And what a script! The film is loaded to overflowing with some of the funniest and most quotable dialogue in history, as not only Fairlane but really the entire cast gets their fair share of hysterical quips and zingers: As the primary villain of the piece, Wayne Newton (whose inexplicable casting choice was used to promote the film) plays the perfect bad guy for this type of material, an embittered record executive who resorts to murder and music piracy in order to see that the music industry is so sleazy and corrupt that eventually it will self-destruct, especially when he admits to Fairlane that he doesn’t even ENJOY the music that he promotes; As his ex-wife who hires Fairlane, Priscilla Presley plays perhaps the most stock femme fatale character of the cast, but brings class and dignity to the role regardless; Morris Day as Fairlane’s record producer friend slides in and out of the movie, and almost always leaves at least 2 or 3 memorable lines each time; Lauren Holly (in the role that launched her career) as Fairlane’s assistant holds her own with Clay’s chauvinistic schtick, and it isn’t long before the character of Jazz emerges as not only the smartest and most appealing turn, but when she comes out at a rich people’s garden party, the sexiest as well; Maddie Corman as Zuzu Petals is pitch-perfect in bringing to life the ultimate airhead rock groupie, spouting idiotic bon mots that fray Fairlane’s nerves to no end, yet remaining incredibly cute, sexy, and likable despite her moronic tendencies; Gilbert Gottfried as Fairlane’s childhood friend turned radio shock jock (obviously based on Howard Stern) makes the most of limited screen time; Robert Englund as a crazed hit man brings menacing presence and arguably the single best nasty bad guy line ever (“Your assistant is quite special. I look forward to raping her at your funeral!”); and Al Bundy himself, Ed O’Neil, is perfect as the former disco singer turned police detective whose rivalry with Fairlane results in some fantastic shit-talking scenes. Plus we get fun cameos from a host of others, including Vince Neil (dropping dead on stage), Sheila E., David Patrick Kelly, Kari Wuhrer, and even rapper Tone Loc. It should also be noted that the film has an absolutely FANTASTIC soundtrack, with a score by Yello that keeps the movie zipping along, plus tracks by Teddy Pendergrass, Motley Crue, Richie Sambora, Queensryche, and of course Billy Idol’s “Cradle Of Love”, which became a legendary rock anthem in its own right (and arguably the greatest music video ever made). In the end, any open-minded viewer should pay no heed to the scores of Dice haters, give this movie a chance, and realize that they’ve discovered a buried treasure…
10/10