Wrong Turn
With its unappealing characters, a script that could have been written by one of its inbred villains, and total lack of originality in its attempt to mine the formula of classics like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and Deliverance (which is directly mentioned in the dialogue), among others, this 2003 horror proves that the modern-day genre filmmakers take great delight in cutting off their own balls in making something that resembles a studio release. The problems start with the cast: Desmond Harrington as the âheroâ tries to project attitude and swagger from his first scene, but is so bland that the actor seems to have been manufactured in the Wonderbread Factory. Not making things any better are two of the more unappealing female leads in horror history: Eliza Dushku (complete with butterface) also tries to have attitude, but the role is so poorly written that she comes off as a walking clichĂ©, the âtoughâ girl who can fend for herself, and whom chooses at the most inopportune time (when she and the hero are hiding under a waterfall from the killers) to start talking about her boyfriend breaking up with her and how much it affected her(!); Emmanuelle Chriqui as her best friend whoâs engaged to be married comes straight from the long line of idiot female characters, always saying the most stupid shit and proving from her actions that she ainât exactly a Rhodes scholar (including a random point where she suddenly starts laughing for no reason); Jeremy Sisto (a good actor by the way) as her fiancĂ©e is wasted with an uninteresting spiel early on about who heâd like to have sing at the wedding and then turns out to be the only person with common sense (which nobody takes heed of, big surprise). Director Rob Schmidt takes great pleasure out of dusting off clichĂ©s that went out of style in the 80s, including the popular âshoulder gets grabbed for a jump scare but itâs really your friendâ bit, and continues on with the newest trend in horror of how smoking pot has replaced having sex as the euphemism for guaranteed doom (if you do it, youâre dead). Some may find certain plot points funny such as how all the trouble occurred simply because the hero was a moron early on (speeding down a dirt road and colliding with the other charactersâ vehicle), or how they find the inbredâs house and go inside and wander around, when any sensible person would have left immediately, they mill around for about ten minutes because Chriqui is looking for a bathroom, giving the inbreds plenty of time to return (next time find a bush). As for the inbreds themselves, they certainly have plenty of prosthetic makeup on, and communicate solely through guttural grunts, but theyâre not the least bit interesting or scary in any remote way (at least Leatherface had a personality). The kills and gore itself, which couldâve saved the film, are a big letdown, as at least half the murders are depicted as characters getting grabbed from behind and pulled offscreen, and the one big gore setpiece with a girl getting dismembered focuses so much on the terrified reactions of the heroes who are hidden in various places that it almost seems like an afterthought. Moreso, for an 84-minute film, the pacing seems way off, as it takes so long to get going that the viewer doesnât even realize that the story is starting to move along. That, plus the fact thereâs no REAL sense of an attempt to make the whole affair creepy or have any twisted atmosphere whatsoever, as when Dushku is captured late in the film, tied up, and the scariest thing the inbreds can do is take turns holding a knife to her throat over and over again (Ooooo!). Overall, if youâre looking for a good horror flick and happen to buy or rent this one, youâll be making a wrong turn indeedâŠ
2/10