Final Terror
Sometimes the real pleasure in watching old school slasher horror flicks is not because they are any good (theyâre not) but rather because they feature young up and coming actors in one of their early roles before they became A list stars. A VERY good example of this would be a film such as this one which was released in 1983 but had actually been made in 1981, coming out at the time it did to capitalize on the rising careers of certain cast members not to mention it had been directed by ANOTHER future major Hollywood player in one Andrew (The Fugitive) Davis. The cast list features some undisputed heavy hitters like Darryl Hannah, Rachel Ward, Joe Pantoliano and Mark Metcalf (legendary for all time as Animal Houseâs Neidermeyer) along with some players who had a fleeting grasp at being famous before fading away quickly such as Adrian Zmed (Grease 2 and then Tom Hanksâ best buddy in Bachelor Party and then nothing), Lewis Smith (Perfect Tommy in Buckaroo Banzai before doing a perfect fade out), and Cindy Harrell (best known as the girl from Ray Parker Jr.âs Ghostbusters music video who nonetheless is probably the hottest female here despite the presence of Hannah and Ward). Out of all of them, the standout is probably Pantoliano who delivers an entertaining performance here as a lunatic Park Ranger from the first scene onward even as all signs pointing to him being the slasher become more and more obvious too early on as well. The film appears to be going for a mash up hybrid of Friday The 13th, Deliverance and Psycho with very mixed results and no prizes are awarded for guessing right that itâs another wilderness based horror flick. The plot? Apparently, we have a group of State Park Forest Rangers (or possibly trainees) being taken out for an excursion into the woods (specifically a very uncharted area) by their leader (Metcalf) and his girlfriend (Harrell) despite the fact that another couple have just gone out into the woods recently and disappeared (although we know from watching the opening scene that both were brutally murdered by an unseen killer who seems to specialize in booby traps). Whatâs especially outrageous about this is that Metcalf appears to have made âarrangementsâ for his young guys to be accompanied by a gaggle of teenage girls (including Hannah and Ward) apparently to âkeep them companyâ on the expedition (since Metcalf is bringing his own girlfriend along for the ride, he figures that itâs only fair). But Joey Pants is having none of it. Being a fellow Ranger whose primary duties are to maintain and drive the bus which provides transportation for everyone, he makes it a point to tell Metcalf to his face that using state taxpayer equipment and resources to bring some girls out into the woods to party with them represents a direct dereliction of his duties but Metcalf manages to persuade him to just drive the damn bus anyway (although not in the way that Neidermeyer would have). Joey Pants of course is right on the money as Metcalf only cares about sneaking off with his girlfriend to a more remote area so that they can screw and the rest (especially Hannah) are all a bunch of hapless potheads who can do little more than smoke weed and babble to each other all the time with one of them (Zmed) even wandering off and getting lost for half the movie before reemerging unscathed. Pantoliano is established early on as the guy who loves to antagonize the younger recruits (and they hate him for it) and even while driving them out on the bus unleashes a torrent of threats that would give just about anyone some serious pause but he also makes a point of continuously warning them about going out to THAT neck of the woods by saying itâs too remote and dangerous and so naturally when his warnings are rebuffed, he becomes even more agitated in his threatening (why not just hang a neon sign on him already?). Naturally (as is per the standard in this subgenre), the whole entire backstory and motivation for the killer is given during a campfire storytelling scene and if one pays attention, you will pretty much understand who the killer will be and why (as bland as the final revelations are by comparison to others of this lot). One thing that stands out here is that once they recognize that there is a credible threat while they are stranded out in the middle of the woods, all of the characters make it a point at that time to stick together and not get separated (with a couple of exceptions) in order to deter any attacks or ambushes on the killerâs part. Moreso, a mindset comes over some of them that this is almost a military style survival operation which brings us to the creepiest character in the film (unlike Joey Pants who is so entertainingly charismatic that you actually want him to win) who ironically is one of the group of Rangers trying to make it out alive. As played by John Friedrich (a guy whose career promptly sputtered out after making this movie), the effective creepiness stems from the fact that we feel like weâve met this guy somewhere before: a tightly wound redneck / country boy who talks and acts like heâs had some tactical paramilitary experience so that the others will respect him enough to allow him to be in charge even though the truth is that heâs never spent a day in his life serving this country and is actually a complete and utter fuck up with a taste for weed and even winds up tripping balls on some magic mushrooms that ultimately renders him being completely useless. Meanwhile, the killer has capitalized on Metcalfâs mistake of isolating himself and his girlfriend from the others (which is key since both he and his girlfriend are the only ones who have any real idea about how to survive in the wilderness) and engages in mostly psychological warfare with the potheads who stick together, leaving strange totems or even body parts for them to purposely find which makes them throw up or maybe engage in a quick bout of prayer. But the whole thing gets upended by some extremely bad writing (yeah itâs nice that theyâre all sticking together but the first priority should be just getting the hell out of these woods and then coming back with the cops) which is most adamantly on display in a scene with the entire group (which includes four strapping males who are all armed with buck knives) being ambushed by the killer in a particular location with a spear. Do the males who are all in possession of knives go after the killer in an easy win 4 on 1 situation? Nope, they all go running for their lives screaming louder than their fellow fleeing females and even cause one of them to be left behind as a result. Itâs this and other ridiculous moments of stupidity that trip this one up faster and harder than any tripwire booby trap could ever do. It also causes the viewer to undergo a complete disconnect from most of the characters so that we canât wait to see them get offed (which is a disappointment since this is a relatively low body count horror film) except for the off kilter hillbilly guy and thatâs pretty much for all the wrong reasons. Fans of the future big names on hand here will appreciate seeing this one preserved for generations to come but the hardcore horror crowd will most likely be severely disappointedâŠ
4/10