Jaws 3
After the smashing box office success of both Steven Spielbergâs Jaws and its immediate follow up we saw a literal cornucopia of other âshark attackâ quasi horror flicks with somewhat varying degrees of success. Naturally, Universal Pictures couldnât help taking the bait for the inevitable third installment of their franchise, using the 80s 3D gimmick which had been employed for Part 3 of both the Friday The 13th and Amityville franchises and also trying desperately to come up with having an excuse for a workable storyline where another killer Great White Shark would be in an environment where human appetizers would once again be on the menu. Interestingly, the project started life as what would have been a semi official âspoofâ sequel titled Jaws 3 People 0 (complete with the backing of National Lampoon) but after that idea was flushed down the toilet, it appears as if only a cursory rewrite stood between that and what we actually saw get released in 1983, a classic example of what should have been a goofy comedy played here instead as being deadly straight even with most of the absurd elements still in the mix. Roy Scheider certainly knew better: After his bitter contractual experience on Jaws 2, he made sure that his acting dance card was filled to the brim with other projects just to guarantee that he wouldnât even be ASKED to return as Police Chief Brody. Whether the character was ever intended to actually return or not is unknown, but for the sake of franchise continuity we get as the two main male lead characters his sons Michael and Sean as played here by Dennis Quaid and John Putch. And itâs just as well since despite the fact that Quaid bore an apt physical resemblance to the young actors who had previously played Michael Brody, he would later confess in an interview that he was âaggressivelyâ using cocaine all throughout the filming and that there was not one frame of the film that he appeared in where he wasnât high as a kite. Lou Gossett Jr. (hot at that time and fresh off an Oscar win) was brought on board to play the billionaire entrepreneur who owned the theme park where the action takes place and wound up being sorely miscast, playing the usual colorful rich dude who seems his happiest whilst preening for a throng of eager reporters. Bess Armstrong (a hum dinger example of an 80s actress who seemed to be showing up all over the place that is until the decade ended and her career was then filed under has been), Simon MacCorkindale (best known as an all around shape shifter on the 80s TV series Manimal and little else) and Lea Thompson (making her debut here as a free spirited park employee with romantic intentions on Sean Brody) rounded out the main cast as our location is now sunny Orlando, FL and the world famous Sea World aquatic theme park (referred to as such throughout the film since the real life owners of Sea World must have seen little to no harm in having a Jaws sequel take place there) and Quaidâs Michael Brody has caught on at the park as their lead marine biologist, pretty much doing all of the grunt work in running the place while boss Gossett (for whom it appears has had a pretty colorful past when he was getting wealthy) takes all of the bows during his press conferences. Their primary attraction is some sort of giant underwater maze of tubes during which the slack jawed tourists can wander through in awe at all of the different marine life (fishes) swimming above, below and around them, all of which is contained inside a man made lagoon through which the only way in or out is through a steel gate. One day when the gate gets clogged, an employee goes down to fix it and quickly gets gruesomely gobbled up by a great white shark and when he doesnât show up to work the next day, itâs just written off as being the guy went on a drinking binge and thatâs that (with Gossett giving Quaid orders to fire the guy when he finally does turn up). Meanwhile, there are waves of excitement everywhere over the park opening itself, with the aquatic acrobatic teams in a constant state of rehearsal not to mention the people wearing corny character costumes, dancers and of course the lovable dolphin performers who are by far the best part of this movie and of which one of them still performs to this day. When a great white shark is detected in the area, Quaidâs co worker girlfriend (Armstrong) proposes capturing it so that it can be an attraction and along with the cocky, chauvinistic, big game wildlife hunter and photographer played by MacCorkindale, the shark is captured and then dies shortly afterwards. But alas, the mother shark is also within the area, and The Brody Bros once again must bear witness to their worst childhood memories resurfacing while Gossettâs supposedly brilliant businessman starts looking for as many definitions as he can for saving face and avoiding lawsuits. All of this is played out with some of the absolute worst special effects imaginable (especially for 3D standards) and a ridiculously incorrect perception of how sharks actually act (most of them eat their own young instead of looking to avenge them) all the way up to an all out assault on the lagoon attraction itself (and its command center) using its snout as a literal battering ram to cause flooding and then managing to break through the glass itself to flood inside and help itself to some more warm snacks. The concept (presented in both Parts 2 and 4) that the shark attacks always seem to happen whenever there are Brody family members around definitely NOT being a coincidence is not really in play here (thus ruling out revenge) although Quaidâs Michael does get in a couple of tirades about his family history and we also learn that younger brother Sean actually HATES the water and doesnât care to go anywhere near it (although Lea Thompsonâs freewheeling good time girl looks to help him overcome that). But the idea that this underwater theme park could be so technologically advanced (by 1983 standards) and yet still not be able to detect such a creature in their midst nor even be able to determine if missing cast members (of which there are more than one) who are actively involved in hunting the shark can have their sudden disappearance explained by having been eaten or not is where the line really gets drawn in terms of sheer implausibility. Then there are the really (unintentionally) humorous parts, such as when a half eaten body shows up in the glass panel and the resulting tourist melee sees one girl get her face forcefully pushed up against it so that she can get a good eyeful of whatâs left of the corpse and then thereâs the half assed evacuation âtechniquesâ employed when Gossett and the others slowly realize that the shark is active and a credible threat to their guests including having Quaid run along the beach telling everybody to get out of the water all while being utterly ignored until naturally the shark attacks somebody. The finale, which is played out entirely in slow motion and seems meant to evoke some sort of surreal, dreamlike atmosphere, is also ridiculous, featuring a dead, half eaten character hanging out of the sharkâs mouth the whole time and featuring a laughable final denouement that may remind many of the final scene of Freddyâs Dead. Overall, easily among the worst of the worst sequels of any kind and also part of an ongoing open debate between this and Jaws 4 which at the very least had Michael Caine in itâŠ
3/10