Last Dragon
If thereâs one thing that the everlasting legacy of Bruce Lee left as an impression upon our modern culture, itâs that the fully embraced practicing of martial arts was much, much more than simply being able to fight impressively, but also rather some convoluted way to attain spiritual enlightenment and mastery of all of lifeâs little mysteries. But was that ever true?? The answer would have to be a hard NO, not only from the number of practitioners who fell to the wayside and in some cases, upon hard times, but also in the much talked about fate of Master Lee himself, dying at age 33 not so much from foul play which is the glamourized version of events, but rather from aspects of his own vanity including having his sweat glands surgically removed (NOT recommended) along with reportedly an acute lack of sleep which Lee engaged in so as to be in the moment during EVERY waking moment, leading to his death from a swelling of the brain after taking a friendâs prescribed medication to rid himself of a severe headache. As time went on, martial arts has taken its place to be what it is now in our world with the rise of UFC and MMA in general: a way of life and discipline that is meant for competitive purposes as opposed to becoming more in touch with nature or any such claptrap. One of the most popular cinematic spoofs / homages to Lee and the subculture he created was this 1985 action / comedy that on initial inspection, appears to have been a wasteland of several acting careers that were cut short (with a couple of notable exceptions including William H. Macy in an early role) and an even closer look reveals the possibility of this having been a pretty cocaine filled environment on the set, with nobody moreso being the main culprit than having Vanity playing the female lead, not even able to hide on camera her obvious tics and mannerisms that were common among those who would partake in the powdery white substance (and for which Vanity herself was notorious for engaging in ferociously during this timeframe, leading to her later health problems including being on kidney dialysis 24 / 7). Amazingly, she still comes through with ample amounts of beauty and charisma in her role of a ânice girlâ music video show host. But the two stars here on the opposite ends of the martial arts philosophical spectrum are Taimak and Julius J. Carry III as the unforgettable ShoâNuff (The Shogun Of Harlem). Taimak in the âheroâ role here plays âBruceâ Leroy Green, first shown during the opening credits practicing his moves before being told by his resident master (ironically portrayed as being the type of guy who himself doesnât take all of this too seriously) that Leroy has reached the level of which there is now nothing more that he (personally) can teach him, but now Leroy must seek out another master that will take him to the âfinal levelâ so that he can achieve âThe Glowâ, a sort of golden hue around him that indicates that he has conquered all of the challenges laid before him prior to reaching that level. Taimak (who resembles Phillip Michael Thomas on a Xanax binge) does a decent job with the role, even as stardom or at least a healthy acting career would turn out to be too much to ask for him, winning this role on what was obviously an open casting call (and of which some pretty prominent names such as Wesley Snipes and Laurence Fishburne had lobbied for the part) but then becoming an âinstructor to the starsâ later on in life instead. But paired with Vanity as his romantic leading lady (and admitting to her that he is a virgin which seems to especially pique her interest) all while spouting the expected fortune cookie dialogue which is required of these types of characters (at least the script is shrewd enough to have a rib played on him where he thinks his destined master might actually be working at a fortune cookie factory), Taimak carries himself pretty decently, with his fighting skills being his real calling card which is no surprise since he was trained in real life by legitimate martial arts legend Ron Van Clief (himself a 70s chop socky movie star). But the problem is the lack of competitive drive within him, choosing instead to ward off a series of creeper types stalking Vanity rather than put his skills to the true test against Carryâs insanely cool ShoâNuff, a true master whoâs not afraid to be loud and proud about it, always bringing an entourage in tow with him and wanting to take on Leroy based off his reputation as being a guy who can catch bullets in his teeth. ShoâNuff also gets some choice dialogue where he openly criticizes the fortune cookie philosophy side of martial arts as being a crock of false empowerment (and arguably heâs right). What we have here is clearly a Million Dollar Villain, with more franchise potential (had they chosen to produce sequels which sadly they did not) than even the hero himself, and in many ways ShoâNuff remains the most vital and best remembered element of the film to this day with arguably a bigger following amongst its rabid fans than Taimakâs relatively serene Leroy. The best and most ironic thing about ShoâNuff is that the ONLY thing that qualifies him for bad guy status is his fiercely competitive nature, one that is quelled every time Leroy refuses to engage in even so much as a friendly sparring session, usually running away while Shoânuff is forced to engage with lesser opponents who decide to step up because of the way he runs his mouth (even though he always backs it up). There is a (very) lame attempt to pile on additional villains in the form of a comical gangster (Christopher Murney, a guy whom youâd barely recognize from all of the bit roles heâs had over the years) whoâs pressuring Vanity to play a home movie music video starring his girlfriend (who can charitably be described as a 40 something Cyndi Lauper wannabe) and when Vanity refuses, he resorts to threatening her life which leads to Leroy rescuing her and beating up both him and his goons and in turn he puts out a contract on Leroyâs life, which is all well and good except for the fact that Murney as the gangster tries to play it as being just as over the top and larger than life a villain as Carryâs ShoâNuff and winds up failing miserably, one of those classic examples of an actor being in way over his head when one knows there had to be far better choices out there who were available at the time. But at least Mike Starr (better known as the poisoned hitman Mental in Dumb And Dumber) does some good work as the gangsterâs top henchman, with some convincing slapstick in spite of his co starâs limitations. The filmâs greatest strength (besides ShoâNuffâs dominance) is in the way that it manages to pull out some random moments here and there that are actually quite charming and funny, including when one of Leroyâs goofier martial arts friends (an Asian guy who openly admits that he canât fight) suddenly starts knocking people out left and right during the final big brawl and obviously canât believe it himself (even as 12 year old Ernie Reyes Jr. comes in from out of nowhere and just starts mowing bad guys down) or even better when Leroyâs little kid brother (a big talking hybrid of Jimmie Walker and Gary Coleman who always brags about how heâs going to get Vanity all to himself) is caught by her spying from the catwalk in the TV studio and she suddenly takes on a maternal tone of concern for the child, telling him to get down from there now before he gets hurt. And letâs not even get started on some of the music video sequences, such as when Vanity (who has already decided that she wants Leroy even before she knows that heâs virgin) constructs a massive Bruce Lee film clip light and laser show just to impress him. If humor and charm is what you look for in a martial arts film (along with a villain who is just so imposing and memorable that they SHOULD have made more sequels with only him alone carrying the load), then you canât do much worse than this 80s classic that continues to maintain a strong following to this dayâŠ
8/10