Universal Soldier
In the glory days of the 80s action heroes, one thing that became quite evident was in the way that each one (including Arnold, Sly Stallone, Steven Seagal and others) had basically staked out their own cinematic territory, usually bringing along their own stunt crew, makeup artists, etc., and most importantly (until the days of The Expendables movies), they almost NEVER collaborated or co starred in a movie together, usually preferring to work with either reliable character actors or comfortably second tier badasses so that the main spotlight would always be on them. That’s why in 1992 when it was announced that Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren would be working together in this particular film, it caused quite a bit of a stir amongst action movie fans who naturally expected a testosterone filled powerhouse of a film. Certainly, that’s never been a problem for Lundgren, who is not only one of the most intimidating presences in cinematic history, he’s also one of the most versatile, easily shifting back and forth between heroic and villain roles (as he would be here) and almost never failing to leave an impression on the viewer either way. Van Damme of course, is more of an anomaly, a guy whose infamously bad acting skills has literally sunk other projects with a promising premise (Timecop) and mainly he comes across as being a guy whom while a proficient martial artist, seems to need a patient director with outstanding coaching skills in order to give a credible performance in almost anything which he happens to be in. Hence, the fortunate aspect of having him play the hero here opposite the always entertaining Lundgren as the bad guy with Dolph quickly taking charge of this movie works out in more ways than one. The film’s unforgettable opening scene takes place during the Vietnam War circa 1969, as Van Damme’s American soldier finds himself pinned down behind enemy lines only to see his own comrades running for their lives not from the Viet Cong, but rather their own commanding officer (Lundgren doing a completely whacked out, over the top parody of Berenger in Platoon) who has not only mercilessly slaughtered the innocent residents of a Vietnamese village, but also many of his own men who had tried to stop him from doing so whom he now labels “traitors” while also collecting the ears of his victims like a sick memento to wear as a necklace. When Van Damme attempts to put a stop to his actions (possibly because they had a longtime friendship which is hinted at), the two wind up killing each other before both their bodies are collected by a shadowy military envoy and spirited out of the region. Flash forward 25 years later and with little to no explanation, Lundgren and Van Damme (along with others) are both still alive and apparently part of some secret super soldier program, having literally been brought back to life just so they can become compliant special operators who come out of a refrigerated stasis and complete a given mission before heading back into the fridge, essentially making them controlled zombies. What makes this ridiculous is that a) if the military or the medical field had achieved the miraculous breakthrough of bringing dead people back to life with minimum neurological damage (as the mind control aspects were only added later on) and with only specific changes in climate conditions in order to survive, they certainly wouldn’t waste that kind of technology solely on mere high level soldiers and b) the first time we see the Universal Soldiers (or UniSols as they’re called), they are bringing down a pack of terrorists on American soil during a high profile hostage situation at the Hoover Dam with journalists and civilians everywhere looking on even while the commanding officer at the scene (Ed O’Ross) denies that they are anything other than just run of the mill Special Forces guys when there is no way that these men would be deployed in such a public fashion rather than preferably being dropped into some shadowy overseas conflict. Naturally, both Van Damme and Lundgren soon begin remembering who they really are, with Van Damme suddenly wanting to go home while taking a nosy, chain smoking reporter (Ally Walker) along for the ride. And Lundgren? He winds up taking command of the whole unit, killing the non enhanced military officers and goofy scientists who have been telling him what to do and sets out to hunt down Van Damme whom he still considers a “traitor” with his specialty being to take the UniSols and surround a building where their enemy target is believed to be and then just opening fire until the building is demolished along with talking and acting like he’s still in Nam while killing any unlucky civilians who get in his way. Van Damme meanwhile enacts a Little Boy Lost persona until the divisive scene where he goes into a diner to eat and callously consumes plate after plate of food with no intention of paying for any of it, even going so far as to viciously assault the hard working cook who questions if he has any money along with the various patrons who try to defend him. This flips the viewers’ loyalties (unintentionally) over to Lundgren, hilariously yelling at his dead comrades to follow orders and keep on fighting even while holding court with a supermarket full of frightened people where he lectures them on the severity of war and those who have to fight it while he also rants about dealing with those who would rather turn tail and run away instead of fighting alongside their comrades (and then effortlessly shoots dead a gaggle of cops who try to stop him). The rule about the soldiers needing to be practically frozen when they get overheated or they might die goes out the window in the closing moments as Van Damme makes it home to his parents and Lundgren (having already survived going off a cliff in a tanker truck) is in hot pursuit. In an attempt to get another respectable actor into the mix, Jerry Orbach comes on late in the movie as the groundbreaking scientist whom Van Damme has to track down so that he can get a half hearted explanation about what this secret super soldier program was all about, but the viewer could care less about his plight at this point after seeing him victimize the diner denizens, so instead we delight in watching Lundgren with his unmatched intensity chewing people up and spitting them out because his character is SUPPOSED to do that (him being the bad guy) and even when taken on edgy terms, Van Damme’s so called good guy decimating somebody’s place of business because he doesn’t understand that he’s supposed to PAY for the food he’s ordered (he’s not an alien after all) kind of cancels out what little empathy we had for him. But still, watching Lundgren stomping his way through America’s heartland, collecting ears and acting like he’s still in Vietnam is definitely worth the price of admission and the drawn out final battle has to be almost a statement / spoof in and of itself as it features Lundgren and Van Damme literally fighting over a hypodermic needle filled with steroids with the winner being the first one to inject it into their own body. Overall, a fun movie with a great villain that should not be taken too seriously for the sake of our own piece of mind…
7/10