Body Slam
Without a doubt, the most game changing “storyline” in the history of professional wrestling (and the one that enabled Vince McMahon to consolidate his power and wipe out all of his other competition) was that of the “Rock n Wrestling Connection”, a drawn out, nearly 2 year sequence of events that was initiated almost by accident when longtime WWF manager Captain Lou Albano had proven to be such a thorn in the side of McMahon (and his father, Vince Sr.) due to his frequent drunken backstage tirades that when faced with the threat of literally losing his job, Albano pulled out the very last ace he had up his sleeve: a longtime, legitimate, real life friendship with the newly emerging music industry sensation Cyndi Lauper, a friendship out of which Albano would guarantee McMahon that he could personally get Lauper involved with The WWF and generate both box office revenue and mainstream attention the likes of which the business had never before seen. McMahon agreed and Albano made good on his word, bringing Lauper in to feud with him and before anyone knew it, wrestling events were being broadcast live on MTV and in the biggest twist of them all, Roddy Piper would suddenly become the central figure in the storyline as the primary villain, setting up an MTV showdown with Hulk Hogan and ultimately Mr. T’s involvement in the very first Wrestlemania with the rest being history despite Lauper (who was later said to have regretted her involvement) and Albano’s departures from the business (and this time Albano would be fired for good) even as the entire wrestling industry was permanently changed forever (and probably for the better). Meanwhile, out in Hollywood, the mainstream entertainment industry (having already witnessed Andy Kaufman’s foray into Memphis wrestling a few years earlier) was still trying to make heads or tails of the whole thing, ultimately deciding in 1986 to make a fictional goofball comedy out of the whole phenomenon, one that was made without the cooperation or assistance of McMahon and The WWF but which still factored in a number of real life players from the original storyline (specifically Piper and Albano) along with a smattering of mostly pointless cameo roles and in the lead role none other than Dirk Benedict (not so surprisingly Mr. T’s co star from The A Team) who clearly was making a bid here to become a comedic leading man in theatrical movies. Unfortunately, a legal situation arose when the two screenwriters (both of whom were Hollywood lawyers) wound up suing the production upon seeing that Benedict and the hired director Hal Needham (Cannonball Run) had rewritten their script so much that they claimed it bore little resemblance to their original work, a lawsuit that wound up being so severe that it ended all hopes of a planned theatrical release, going straight to the video and cable TV wastelands instead which ironically happened to a lot of 80s movies that now hold up pretty favorably today compared to most major modern releases. This movie at the time it was made not only played itself off as being childishly stupid, but also as incredibly naïve about the actual wrestling industry, portraying the matches within the story as being completely real which was the industry standard for the time (otherwise known as keeping kayfabe) and of which Piper and the others were so adamant about honoring that tradition that during the filming of the final match when the extras in the crowd were heckling them for doing the same moves on multiple takes, Piper and his colleagues suddenly staged a “real” fight that got so legitimately out of hand (including director Needham getting tossed on his ass) that it stunned the crowd into silence and left them convinced that pro wrestling might still be real after all. Benedict plays M. Harry Smilac, a supposedly hot rock n roll manager whom in reality barely knows anybody in the music industry and is really just an always on the hustle con artist, albeit one with the gift of gab who can actually negotiate his way out of tight situations if absolutely necessary. A chance encounter between Benedict and Piper’s down and out wrestler (here named Quick Rick Roberts) who apparently gets screwed constantly out of decent paydays despite being a top draw as a good guy (babyface) wrestler sees Benedict put together a better deal for him which leads to Benedict also managing a charismatic young man named Tonga Tom (played by Sam Fatu, a.k.a. The Tonga Kid, a former real life rival of Piper’s who wound up being exiled out of the industry by McMahon). The irony of course is that Benedict’s Smilac, with his flashy, flamboyant wardrobe, motormouth skills and tendency to wear his own shady nature on his sleeve makes him an absolutely perfect fit for the wrestling business as a manager. But he quickly makes an enemy out of several members of the oldschool guard in the business, most notably Albano himself, said not only to be a manager of the tag team champions (real life bad guys The Barbarian and Teijho Khan) but is also said to have “control” of all of the major arenas in the country, forcing Smilac and his crew to go on a road tour into more regional areas, bringing along the one garage band that he manages who actually are musicians to perform alongside the wrestling matches and thus create The Rock n Wrestling Connection (or at least a fictional version of it), eventually getting mainstream coverage from Rolling Stone and finally gaining the leverage to have Piper and Tonga challenge Albano’s men for the tag team titles in a bizarre “extravaganza” not only attended by a major political candidate but also Tanya Roberts as Benedict’s love interest (although overall she’s barely in the movie) and a strange menagerie of real life wrestling legends whom they somehow cobbled together for a quick payday including the Man Himself, Ric Flair, along with Freddie Blassie, Adnan Al-Kaissie, and Bruno Sammartino starting a fight in the crowd (what?). As stupid as all of this is (and it is), this is a film that has actually benefitted from the passage of time, aging kindly in many ways thanks to the strong feelings of nostalgia from the era (including the weird sight of Piper and Albano switching out sides from their real life conflict where Piper was truly the king of the bad guys at that time) along with the somewhat random cameos (John Astin, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Wild Samoans Afa and Sika as a couple of collection men) and a smattering of political incorrectness in the form of Billy Barty (a legendary midget actor said to be playing a manager of midget wrestlers) and Albano calling Benedict’s Smilac a “f@ggot” because of his fancy wardrobe (right in front of Nelson Reilly who really was gay) while people in the crowd respond by holding up signs that also say “F@ggot”. Is it wrong? Sure, but in those days, comedy wasn’t always designed to be strictly inoffensive. As long as one keeps their expectations in check (the big wrestling events as depicted here paled next to the real life pageantry of the MSG shows on MTV) and surely is at least a fan of the legendary Piper (greatly toned down here from his wild real life persona playing his Quick Rick Roberts as something more akin to being a regular guy who just happens to be a pro wrestler), then this turns out to be not nearly as bad as it might have been back when it first came out…
7/10